planning and dreaming about our wedding and the life after it, i can't help thinking about how marriage changes life. although i am not married yet, i am sensing the future in store for me already. with each passing day, i can absorb the vibes of marriage around me. increasing number of responsibilities, responsibility for marriage preparations - wedding cards, make up artists, dj etc. responsibility with money. i have to get used to the feeling that i can no more splurge on self and that i have to contribute towards home expenses. i have to see to it that the spices and grains and other food items are well stocked and that we do not run out of food when guests arrive. i will be the lady of the house and have to be a good host - friendly, soft spoken, charming and warm. i will have to budget my expenses and most importantly stick to my budget and allocation to each expense. i can no more bank on my parents' free hospitality that i so enjoyed for almost 32 years.
i have suddenly realized that freedom (one thing i desperately wished for so many years) comes at a huge price. this price is being responsible. responsible for your actions, words and choices. i have realized that every choice i make is setting stone in the path to my future. i am no more protected or cocooned.
luckily for me, i have found a partner who unlike me doesn't shy away from his responsibilities. he is ready to take on the world with whatever it has to offer. maturity helps you see. i think i was just a small kid at heart who refused to shun that garb under childish behaviour and is now forced to take on the mantle of multiple roles and enter the world of adulthood. alice in wonderland has grown up!
(originally posted on 9 September, 2016 on http://www.krist0ph3r.com/2016/09/alice-in-wonderland.html)
