Living everyday

Dressing up is an effort
Stepping out of the door is an effort
Looking after myself is an effort.
He says, "you don't love yourself" "you don't love me"
I stay quiet but inside I think it could be true.
I like the numbness. Like not feeling any thing. Food is comforting, comfort eating is what it is.
Sometimes you are just tired of fighting.
Fighting to be a better version of yourself everyday.
When you see people around you striding away.
Forward and onwards they march.
You are standing still, like a mute spectator.
Just dreaming of a better future.
Awaiting the good things to come.
Why do I always see the blackness around me?
Darkness is all I see.
Thin air, nothing to look at for me.
Even someone reading this would give me hope.
Living light after light,
Hope keeps me alive.