That Autumn Love

Sun is shining,
There's colour on your face.
That Autumn love was special.
I still remember the phase.
Parks are still green,
The wind is cool.
Time is a whirlwind.
It could have been beautiful,
had the years changed.
I remember the nights,
the places, the sounds.

The Sun is still there,
But the warmth is gone.
The silken touch of the evenings is no more.
It's cold, very cold and pitch black.
I see no sound, hear no wind.
Only dark empty nights to fill in.
Time doesn't matter anymore,
Corridors are empty.
I remember your presence,
Your feet touching the ground.
The laughter and the sound.

Conversations with a stranger

I see you boy,
Smiling and giggling with other girls.
Looking around, wondering just like me
What are these people like?
How do they live and survive?
What is their story?
I want to hear your story, oh boy.
Tell me where you come from.
Does your mamma like your work?
Did you study hard at school?
I'm a dreamer and get curious every day.
I step into your shoes and imagine,
Where are you going, where do you want to be.
Do you think the same?
Smile on and get on with life.
You are in a happy place right now.
I hope so!

Sea of poppies

Red is the colour I see,
I see no tear no blood differently.
The sea of poppies forever remain,
Sadness I feel for thee.
Great wars you all fought,
For our motherland, our peace and our children.
We stand here today to thank you,
As you lay deep-under resting today.
Fought you did for the world we have today.
Divided yet united in pain we cry today.
The tears come for different mothers,
Yet peace is what we seek every day.
You fought in the great wars,
We fight the great war within, today.
Every child, in every time
Feels the pain.
The sea of poppies remains the same.

Touching lives

Somewhere I read about a man's death.
Seemingly insignificant was his life as one looked.
But hundreds mourned his death,
he had touched a cord somewhere with them.
He made their student hostel life a little more jolly and colourful.
Milon da was no more.
I did not know him.
Apparently, cancer took him away.
Students from Jadhavpur University were sad today.
They missed their Milon da.
They missed his food, his stories, his smiling face.
He touched their lives.
Millions of people touch our lives.
We humans make memories.
And in the end that's what we remain.
Dust and memories.
Remember the Milon da of your life,
before death takes them away.

Sunshine

Sunshine is not far away.
Rays break through the darkness,
the crown shines under the sunshine.

When you are losing hope,
the rays will see you through.

Take a walk in the park,
your mind will find its way through.
Continue to dream my friend,
Ov'r there rests your destiny.

Remember the time,
today was a dream, yesterday.
The darkness looms large,
it's grippin' my fear.

When you are losing hope,
the rays will see you through.

Badlaav

Pakki dhoop subah ka rukh dekh rahi thi,
Kuch kaagaz, kuch samaan nikaale maine us bag se.
Aaj badlaav ka din hai, theharaav ka darr hai mujhe.
Par waqt badalta rahega. Is samay ke peeche bhi ek badlaav tha.
Insaan baahri badlaav se itna darta kyun hai?
Hawa, paani, baadal, sab badalte hi toh rehte hai.
Sab kuch thehera hua sa lagta hai par aandhi toh aane waali hai.
Main bhi badal rahi hu, main badal chuki hu.

Waiting

The long wait has begun. As I wait every month for the final verdict to come on our paperwork, it makes me think so intensely inward. I am obsessed to know my future, is it bleak, is it bright? Am I happy in the picture of tomorrow?
It's strange how every moment can be so captivating. Funny that I'm manically searching astrology predictions everyday, half believing them.
The surface seems so calm, so unperturbed. But there is a great battle waging inside. I have let go of my body, my diet and my mind. It is so easy to fall back on past habits. Mindless acts have become the norm. My to-do list is ever increasing. My skills are depleting. Mind is forgetting words. It's like I'm suddenly ageing at a rapid pace. There are days when I'm stuck in a mindless cycle of rising from the bed, watching reruns of popular sitcoms and stuffing my mouth with whatever I get my hands on.
I know it's wrong. All these little acts are reflecting on my body, my mind and my speech. The excitement of changing base is combined with a gripping fear of being left out of the race. The race to excel, make my own name. I question my principles, my thought process and my dreams. I wasn't meant to be like this. A younger me had long before promised that I will not remain like this. I was suppose to have changed and for the better. But today I feel like a bloated blob. I won't give up, that's for sure. But I feel stuck to even put up a fight.
I'm writing frequently. That's the only positive I see these days. Writing is the best thing in the world to me today. It is like letting out steam. I fearlessly and shamelessly write down my thoughts, my mental and physical condition. I'm in a very bad shape right now but I don't want to be stuck here. I want to grow, feel beautiful again. Pick up my pieces and paint a bright picture for myself.
I have hope, lots and lots of hope. I know my gloom is temporary. I am in passing. But I'm permanently damaging my beautiful body and in the process damaging my confidence. It's difficult to stay on track.