Sunday 20 November 2016

The Pale Blue Dot


Life ha a funny way of reminding you where your stand in the whole scheme of things. Thanks to the latest announcement on demonetization, i suddenly feel stifled and restricted. Though most of my big purchases can be done on cards, I feel restricted in terms of daily commute where only cash prevails. Walking to and from home from the railway station to save every penny worth of chutta,eating only at restaurants that accept cards, disliking people when they shamelessly ask for cash post their services; these are just some of the many daily situations I come across post 8th of November, 2016. 

But this post is not about demonetization (even the American version of demonetisation restricts my freedom of self expression). This post is about how life changes in a jiffy. In one moment, you are rich and comfortable with your cash, cards and the works and the next moment you are standing in never ending queues at the ATM for some chuttas. The worst part is the restriction on these cash exchange transactions and withdrawals. Ofcourse it wont be right to say that I feel like how people would have felt during the Great Depression but I seriously do empathize with them much more. 

Life has changed overnight for many people. People whose business depended solely on cash have seen atleast a 50% drop. People have stopped going out often. Patients have suffered, waiters have suffered without their tiny tips and people like me are such feeling the heat of things when someone argues in a local train either supporting or defaming this move. There is blatant restlessness palpitating among the crowd. I am worried now. Worried for humanity, for justice and most of all I think we are going to relive the era of "The Silent Generation." The happy Millennials and iGeneration will need to re-read their history books to learn a lesson or two from their ancestors. 

I suddenly feel a profound sense of helplessness. I am worried for my future. Just plain worried. I cannot trust anything anymore. In one moment, a government move changes my life, in one day my aunt falls critically ill and her world turns upside down. What do we humans gloat about so much? We are helpless on so many fronts. I have cash in bank but I can hardly use it. My aunt has the power and money to get her way out of things but today she is helpless in front of what sits inside her body. We are helpless if tomorrow an airstrike (just like the one in Syria and other war stricken countries) hits Mumbai. We will be homeless and poor in the tiny speck of a moment if our house collapses or our banks go bust. Banks do not guarantee our entire money. I know I read cynical here but what can this "Pale Blue Dot" do when an asteroid welcomes its way in? 

Humans are a complex mix of vulnerabilities and strengths. Spirituality teaches us that the power of the Universe is also the power within us. Science teaches us the heavy realization of how seriously we take ourselves even though we are such a tiny speck on the face of this vast Universe. 

All these years growing up, I had a sense of relief that let me take care of myself and things will fall in place. I also believed that life is full of choices and it is largely our choices that maketh thee. But I blindly ignored the possibilities of life changing experiences through fate. Some will not agree with me on this as they believe that it is solely their deeds and words that made them who they are today. But you cannot ignore the factors of getting a good foundation as a child, living in a conflict-free positive environment. That is where fate comes in. Maybe it is the ill-fate of Syrians or Palestinians or even Kashmiris to suffer in an induced poverty and see their life savings burnt down due to a choice made by few men. 

I hope my bubbly optimism surfaces soon and takes over this induced cynicism. I am amazed at how deeply things affect me these days. My sensitivity is to its fore. A good outcome of this though is that I am writing much more and I feel free in doing so. 

Wednesday 26 October 2016

Rethink


some recent developments have made me think deeper about how we humans spend our lives in pursuit of things we think will make us happy. 
my aunt, closest of the seven siblings to my mom, was detected with a deadly disorder. i'll call it disorder because it has led to complete disorder and disarray of life for people around her and for her body within. it is eating her up slowly and crept up sneaking from somewhere in the dark without any warning. i'll be getting married in two months. so between office, wedding preps and arranging our new haven i also spend time with my aunt at the hospital. here i am excited to step forward towards my new journey and here is a close kin of mine fighting to maintain her status quo.
i never knew such news could deeply affect me or move me but when anyone who hears about her case says chances are subnormal i cannot hold back a flood of melancholic emotions run by my mind. you realise the futility of pursuit in life. pursuit of material pleasures, pursuit of success, even pursuit of happiness. everything is so overrated. life is overrated. no matter what you do, nature will always have the last laugh. god would be laughing at our plans, smiling at our naivety. i love making plans, thinking constantly of the future. but today i realised the futility of this micromanagement of my life. one abrupt turn can change the course of my life.
today, i also realised the importance of communication. one of the reasons for me writing this post. communicating your feelings to the people around you. letting them know that you love them. communicating the pain you feel for them. crying alone for someone won't help them ease their pain but crying with them will. life is but a fleeting moment. and it is true that nothing lasts forever.
let your loved ones know that you love them. hug them, praise them and make them smile everyday. also make some changes in your own homes. make it warm, livable and de-clutter.
(Originally posted on 26 October 2016 on http://www.krist0ph3r.com/2016/10/rethink.html)

Friday 9 September 2016

Alice in Wonderland


planning and dreaming about our wedding and the life after it, i can't help thinking about how marriage changes life. although i am not married yet, i am sensing the future in store for me already. with each passing day, i can absorb the vibes of marriage around me. increasing number of responsibilities, responsibility for marriage preparations - wedding cards, make up artists, dj etc. responsibility with money. i have to get used to the feeling that i can no more splurge on self and that i have to contribute towards home expenses. i have to see to it that the spices and grains and other food items are well stocked and that we do not run out of food when guests arrive. i will be the lady of the house and have to be a good host - friendly, soft spoken, charming and warm. i will have to budget my expenses and most importantly stick to my budget and allocation to each expense. i can no more bank on my parents' free hospitality that i so enjoyed for almost 32 years. 

i have suddenly realized that freedom (one thing i desperately wished for so many years) comes at a huge price. this price is being responsible. responsible for your actions, words and choices. i have realized that every choice i make is setting stone in the path to my future. i am no more protected or cocooned. 

luckily for me, i have found a partner who unlike me doesn't shy away from his responsibilities. he is ready to take on the world with whatever it has to offer. maturity helps you see. i think i was just a small kid at heart who refused to shun that garb under childish behaviour and is now forced to take on the mantle of multiple roles and enter the world of adulthood. alice in wonderland has grown up!

(originally posted on 9 September, 2016 on http://www.krist0ph3r.com/2016/09/alice-in-wonderland.html)