My country burns

As I sit warm and cozy here,
Miles away my country burns there.
As I dream of making it big in a new city,
My old home is in shambles.

Crying, shouting, loathing and hating,
That's all I see afar.
Miles away, my friends gather in protests
Sweating in the heat, keeping the hope alive.
While I see the mockery of my country up here,
My country in shambles burns down there.

We need more than hope today,
To see India shining again.
The youth of my land,
Is a lost cause.
Running away, fleeing for their lives,
Girls returning to their homes.

But where is home?
No place on Earth is safe for my brothers anymore.
No hope, no light, no place to call their own.
I see the hope fading.
As I sit afar,
Miles away my country burns.

Antarctica

If I had been a bit healthier
If my job allowed I would go
Even I wasn't about to pop, I would go.
Dreams and wishes,
All tucked behind inside our minds.
Life catches on,
Dreams remain unopened.
Antarctica moves on.

But if destiny is meant to be,
It will light for me.
Any excuses won't stop me
Every mountain,
Rivers and seas
Every soil I am meant to touch upon,
Has my name written on.
My choice, my actions are a mirage.
I do what I'm meant to do.

And a mockery it is of me,
As I am trapped too.
The mirage broke over,
And out came the truth.
I'm one of them,
A slave of my destiny,
Antarctica, a beautiful place it is.
But I wasn't meant to be.

Change is permanent

I always thought that as each generation passes on, the entire generation undergoes radical changes in it's thinking.
I thought since our ancestors were always so conservative, close-minded, careless and lacked consciousness that the current generation would be better. I thought that there will be a time one day when our thinking will be more sensitive, mindful, conscious of our actions and its impact on others and the surroundings.
Over the last few years, I have been quite disappointed with the knowledge that some things transcend across generations. Even in my age group or sometimes even younger, I see people not behaving responsibly, not being concious of the consequences of their actions. There are youngsters, millennials who still do not give environmental issues a second thought, do no recycle because they do not care to bother segregating the waste, feel entitled that since they are paying taxes, it is the responsibility of the government to do the dirty work for them on saving the environment. They do not drive responsibly despite being educated extensively on safe driving methods.

These youngsters will follow the same orthodox thinking in everyday lives. Their thoughts on religion will be radical, even if they don't say it as it is not politically correct but their actions will show it. Many still believe in caste segregation, think feminism is for women who want to dominate men and are quite rigid in their habits.

My biggest issue is when it comes to being concious of your actions and its impact on the environment. So many in our current generation of millennials, consume, produce and discard without giving a second glance to where the waste ends up. This realisation that nothing has changed over the generations, made me sad enough to write a blog on it.

There have been some positive changes as well. Even though a large part of millennials don't care for the consequences, the remaining ones care too much for the environment. They are living their lives with sustainability at its core. They are looking at reduce, reuse and recycle. They are the ones who learnt from the experiences of the previous generation and do not want to repeat the same mistakes, be it in environment, finances or relationships.

Hopefully, our future generations will radically shift in their thinking with each and every generation preceding them changing bit by bit.

Darkness

Cold, cold my feet,
A chill runs down my body.
I see misty fog around me,
A path unclear still.

Flap my wings, I
paddle my feet
As hard as can I.
Head feels heavy now,
I see no light ahead of me.

Darkness has its days,
There is so much to do
In the rainy haze.
Hope keeps me afloat,
Lest I spiral out of control.

Vacuum fills the air,
Voice is lost.
Words are all that care,
Words that shine like tiny diamonds
On my charcoal slate.

Words stay with me, through
my darkness and shine.
A humble blanket of warmth for me,
My words will shine.

Minimum wage

I recently met someone who earns minimum wage for 20 hours a week. She is a single mum for four teenagers.
I just got talking to her and realised how poor life choices can become a vicious circle and keep you poor for a long time. She met a guy in her late teens and had her first child in her early twenties. Now nothing really wrong with that except for the fact that he was already married to another woman and had two kids with her. He told this woman that he can't divorce his wife because their assets are joined and divorce would mean dividing everything and also paying her an alimony.
At this point of the conversation I was wondering, did she not see this as a red flag?
Going forward, he did divorce his first wife and he never married this woman but had four children with her. They eventually separated and now he cannot be found. Since he is missing, the court cannot make him pay for child support. So with that decision, the woman ends up with raising a big brood on minimum wage. She doesn't own a house and the only way she can afford to run her house is through government support for children.
Now she mentioned to me that government provides working tax credit to women who are single mothers and working for atleast 16 hours.
She said if she works full time then the government won't give her the tax credit and she won't be able to run the household. In my mind, I was thinking why can't she look for a full time job where she can get more money and that doesn't require her to ask for working tax credit.
Further into the conversation, we were discussing how we are going to sort out our dinner tonight since we were quite late and she mentioned that she is going to order takeaway again (she did the same previous night) because a pizza place near her house has Tuesday offers on large pizzas. Now for a family of five, she will end up spending atleast £10. I frequently buy groceries and I have realised that if you budget well, you can buy a week's worth of groceries for £20 for a family of four so for her maybe it would cost £25.
This is a poor life choice where you aren't planning your meals in advance and precooking them.
She also mentioned that she is looking to buy a new couch for her living room that would easily cost her £900 and along with this she is also buying another car which is bigger than her current car. Now her daughter has grown up and will move out soon, why does she need a bigger car? She currently doesn't have running hot water and heating in the house and her landlord refuses to fix it. Her contract ends next year, shouldn't she not buy a couch now and focus more on spending on the heating as the winter months are approaching soon. She currently uses halogen heating. Her children complain that their friends go on holidays but they don't, she told them we can't go since those kids have both the parents working and spending money whereas she is the only provider for four.
Based on her short story that I know so far, here is a summary on poor life choices she made:
● Having a relationship with a much married man
● Not being alert on the first red flag that he doesn't want to divorce his first wife
● Having four children with him without thinking of the financial implications these will have on meagre earnings
● Not planning meals in advance and ends up ordering expensive takeaways
● Buying a bigger car when she is running on a shoe string budget
● Buying a new expensive sofa when she is running on a shoe string budget
● Not focusing on the basic necessities like heating
● She also didn't focus on receiving higher education and trained to do a job that provides minimum wage for a long time before increasing the wages.
Conclusion:
She has pulled the trigger on the start of a vicious circle where she cannot fully provide for the children. And so the children may not focus on studies and look at minimum wage jobs like their mum or end up with massive student loans. The children, unless they realise, might end up making equally poor life choices in relationships and in general and the cycle may continue.

The Troubles

A lost time not long ago.
The streets burnt,
homes razed to ground,
the rubble remains.

This Brutalist architecture
not by choice sustains.

A crying woman,
her son walk with the TV set in hands.

Immortalised in a photo,
the sadness remains.

(Immersive writing inside Ulster Museum, Belfast, UK. Based on the troubled past of the city)

Museum

Timelines are hazy,
the place a melting pot.
No land, no borders,
No cultural barriers.
Everything is merged here.

The space holds it all.

But what about its own identity?

The Brutalist and the Egyptian inspired.
They hold it all,
finding a new identity,
in a new place.

A new name hiding the old concrete,
the glass enclosing all.

(Immersive writing inside Ulster Museum, Belfast, UK)

Vivaldi's Spring

Off she goes,
taking quick strides along the river.
Look, there she goes,
crossing over that bridge.
Hopping and skipping,
Spruced up in her red hat.

The little miss Red Riding Hood
is off to meet her granny.
But there is someone watching her.
Cautious she must be,
her life is in danger.

The crafty fox
flips through the woods.

Granny is lying still in bed.
Eyes wide open.
Rigor mortis it is.
A long, peaceful sleep.

Miss Red is helpless and alone.
The fidgety fox is closeby.

I see a shining blade of steel,
suddenly leaping from the door.
His shining armour is strong.
The fox scowls and writhes in pain.

There is red everywhere and
it is peace again.

Haunting soul

She haunts the dark manor,
waiting to be free.
Walking up the stairs,
the empty soul is she.

Taking slow strides,
her white dress glistens in the moonlight.

The feathers rustle.

Haunting she is,
the empty soul.

(Immersive writing with music)

The Palm House

I bring a piece with me.
A piece of the world that belonged to me.
The Fern my uncle grew,
the Fern I didn't care about.

I smile when I see it today.
A piece it is from the world that belonged to me.
The beads of sweat on my brow,
the heat I used to run away from.
Sun beating down through the glass.
It's all here.

I see a Croton growing quietly.
Grandpa planted these.
The seeds from my land were planted here.

They are free,
from the red soil to the blue skies now.
The journey to freedom was long
but they flourish now.

These greens stand here
Witness of time.
Time that changed everything,
and nothing.

This is home now.
I take what I get.
The laughter and the chatter is happiness.
I am at peace with my home now.

Run away

Let's run away

Run away to the forests,

To the wild world with birds and bees.

Let's run away

Run away to greener pastures,

To the skies clear and water that runs free.

Let's run away

Where love is in bounty,

And there is no hate no crime.

Let's run to a place where our souls shall meet, with our bodies intertwined.

Let's run to a place with eternal beauty.

Roses

Pink and happy with a hint of dew,
the colour reminds me of you.
Sitting on a bed of thorns,
it would cut and hurt
yet sway around.

You loved its bloom,
its colour a bright red.
Others would envy
the sight of rouge.

A faint perfume fills the air,
a cool breeze sways it more.
And each petal opens its door.

Then it turns brown
like the mud beneath,
Making way for a bud to bequeath.

Your hands grew the bloom to its youth,
I now wish to take the watering can from you.
Bloom a flower as bright as you,
miles away under a Sun anew.

 🌹🌹🌹

Privilege

What it means to be privileged?

Privilege is when you can read this post,
Like it, despise it, comment or share it.
Privilege is when you have food on your table and of the variety you like.
Privilege is when you can comment on the economical and political events of the day,
Without suffering their consequences.
Privilege is when your kith and kin are safe in beds,
And you feel sorry for the workers in the factory with long hours everyday.
Privilege is when your health is hearty,
While a part of the world compromises theirs to break the bread.
Privilege is when your only complaint is to go to work every Monday,
While some worry they may lose their wages tomorrow.
The world is full of these privileges.
A man on the road fears the dark,
While we complain of the sunrise.

उड़ गयी चिड़िया

नन्ही सी गुड़िया थी वह
पर भी न आये थे उसके अभी।
मुस्कुराती, इठलाती चुलबुल चिड़िया थी वह
माँ बाप के आखों का तारा,
बुझ चुका है आज।
रूंध दिया एक नन्हे फुल को,
भेज दिया जल्लाद के हाथ।
उस नन्हें की कीमत
थी दस हज़ार से काम,
ट्विंकल की जान ने पूरी कर दी वह रकम।

इंसान को देख के,
शैतान भी है आज हैरान।
कहा से आयी यह हैवानियत,
कौन है इनका भगवान्?

माया के जाल में,
फस गया तू इंसान।
क्या रमज़ान और क्या दिवाली,
जब किसी के ख़ून से
बढे हमारी शान।

Twinkle Sharma murder

Tombstone

I saw her name on the tombstone today.
A story it told of her life's struggles.
A son she begot but died before her,
World of sorrows she must have felt.
Witnessed the two great wars, she saw the world change.
Was she happier than we are today?
A life of purpose it must have been,
Of surviving against all odds.
Long life lived she, faith must have caught on.
A century of changes, an ocean of experiences, how much does one see in this lifetime?
Another tombstone caught my eye,
A soldier was laid to rest.
Proud even in his death,
'killed in action' was he.
Is this what you call,
Living a meaningful life?

Living everyday

Dressing up is an effort
Stepping out of the door is an effort
Looking after myself is an effort.
He says, "you don't love yourself" "you don't love me"
I stay quiet but inside I think it could be true.
I like the numbness. Like not feeling any thing. Food is comforting, comfort eating is what it is.
Sometimes you are just tired of fighting.
Fighting to be a better version of yourself everyday.
When you see people around you striding away.
Forward and onwards they march.
You are standing still, like a mute spectator.
Just dreaming of a better future.
Awaiting the good things to come.
Why do I always see the blackness around me?
Darkness is all I see.
Thin air, nothing to look at for me.
Even someone reading this would give me hope.
Living light after light,
Hope keeps me alive.

Freedom

Our freedom lies dead,
deep down in her grave she sleeps.
Weep shall we forever,
for the wings are now clipped.

And our freedom lies dead,
For we killed it ourselves.
Knowing the price we pay,
For a comfortable lie.

Strange are the ways,
Truth is arrested and maimed,
While the lies adorn the gaze.
Strange is this world,
We want our golden cage.

Children of 'morrow,
Fight all you can.
For no man is great,
Above the flight to freedom.

Fight like the leaders did,
For liberty is all you have,
Lest there is no difference
Between a brute and a man.

Moonlight

Beautiful moon light shines through my window,
moon rays shining on my smile.
A hope this moonlight gives me,

darkness is incomplete.
The rays pierce my eyes,
and angels walk down the moonriver path.
As I drift into my sleep,
Moon is ready to kiss me goodbye.
To greet another world, another window,
Awaiting it's turn.
Soon my window shall be dark
And I'll close my eyes.
I stay awake to catch the last glimmer of moon at the corner of my window,
before I close my eyes
Counting my stars as I see the moon every night.

Forever thine, forever mine, forever us

As you assess your current situation in life, multiple memories run past your mind. Like a clear vision of the past events, of the happy memories, the adventure that led it all to this day.
I think this is what they all say. To remember the reason that brought you here.
In our current lives, our menial problems, we have forgotten the sweet taste of memories. The outburst of adventures, road trips, the rush of endorphins you felt when you experience something together in the past. The agony of plans going awry but knowing fully well that this is the price you pay for being 'adventurous'.
I took a leap of faith four years ago that changed the course of my life forever. Today, as I sit back and remember my thought process at that time, I don't regret any of it. It has made me who I am and deep down, this is what I always wanted.
What has changed is the situation and its impact it now has on my emotional being. People never change, what changes is their attitude to every situation life throws at them. I am still the adventure lover, the thrill seeker, trying to fill a gaping hole in my being. But the impact of changes around me is too much to take. I am vulnerable to the point of breaking. Henceforth, I have decided to give in. Sometimes, being a driftwood works in your favour. Your conscious is free from the burden of taking the next step. I always believed in concepts like fate and destiny. Today, I believe a person's choices also add on to the course life takes for him but it is still largely pre-designed.
When I said driftwood, it doesn't mean I lose accountability of my actions and words. It just means that I wont resist change vehemently. Like a director visualizes his film and works towards realizing it, I will work towards realizing my life and then sit back in the end to await the final product. The final product that will be made out of countless moments I witness everyday. And in the end, I know I will be satisfied with whatever I see for we are always what we are meant to be.