Journey of happiness

Deep down it will hurt,
When I will look back at my life.
Because it is my own ambitious mind
That speaks to me.
It is my own illusional greatness that questions my existence.
You are a mere catalyst, dear love.
For it is I who seeks my own fame.

It is I who is repulsed by mediocrity yet
thrives in it.
I am my own critic.
That's the thing with disillusioned, ambitious people.
I don't know what I seek.
But I am sure to arrive one day.

Spending countless hours reading the inner workings of their minds.
Sorting, analysing every word,
every action.
Always wondering, what is it the mind speaks that words don't let out.
Sorry are the souls who seek happiness
In arriving not knowing the route to embark upon.
I'll be picking up my small pieces of big ambition now.
Promising to start my journey.
Destination will find itself,
All roads come to their end.
Along the way, I shall seek happiness.
Thriving in the journey, not awaiting my place.
As one day when my being is kissed by ashes, my soul will smile with serenity.